down time

I have been doing no sewing and very little crocheting since my surgery.
I'm working on a little doll blanket for my great neice while watching Elf this evening.
Its soft and pink and easy double crochet. 

I get my stitches out Tuesday and I can't wait, 
     need to get some vitamin E on those little scars.
My skin is dying for lotion! 
  
We had our first snow today, Three or four inches. Looks pretty on the pine trees.
If I wasn't afraid of falling I would go take pictures. Hope I can add some later.

Are you ready for Christmas?
I have my shopping done, except for a few little stocking stuffers
Have not done any baking, not sure if I will. 
Not sure how I will wrap with out the use of my left arm.  
Gift bags are easy, but I love a wrapped present.

Shoulder surgery.

I had to be at the hospital at 5:30
a.m.
 That means we had to leave here at 3:30.
and I am not a morning person.
And on a Monday only made it worse. 

But so worth it to travel 2 hours for an excellent surgeon. 

All went well. Since didn't know what he was doing to my shoulder until he got in there, I didn't either. But now I do. He repaired my rotator cuff(not a complete tear), did a subacromial decompression to correct the impingement of my bisept tendon, and also removed a bone spur. I have 4 little incisions. 8 stitches. 
Am in a regular sling this time. ( In May I had the right side done and was in that awful immoblizer for 2 months!) Its really aggrivating my neck, but everything does. 

Slow going for the next several weeks.  My husband it being a totally sweet nurse. I am a lucky girl :) 

Thankful for oneline shopping this year! 

My handsome son and his beautiful bride.
What a wonderful celebration! 

ain't nobody got time for that!

Spent Sunday afternoon in the ER.

Apparently my thoracic spine is as mess too. 

I feel like a big old Charlie Brown ugh

or a little one.
Gotta get better before my son's wedding on Saturday! 

ow

I know its  bad pain day when washing my hair brings me to tears.

if anyone reads this blog, thank your lucky stars if you can go through a day without pain. 

how sweet is this little peanut in her mermaid tail blanket? She has plenty of room to grow!

karma?

I really wanted to sew the other day.
Gathered some fabric scraps, wanted to make myself a little keychain.
Snuggled in with my old singer.

Nothing.

Checked to make sure everything was plugged in. 
Still nothing.
Unplugged them and re-plugged.

Dead.

Checked the outlet.
Fan worked.
Third time's the charm right?
Nope.

Must look on the bright side.
Had it for a long time.
Sewed quilts,and crafts, 
patched lots of barn pants.
Miles of stitching, I'm sure. 
Was a cheap machine to start with.
It did well.
I had my fun.
I will save for another one.
just had to put new brakes and calibers in my car :(
had a tractor repair bill of over $9000, yup. that's thousand :(
had our daughter's wedding in April :)
my son is getting married in 19 days! :)
(my hubby got  new suit. he looks so sazzy in it :) 
And I got one of my dresses on sale, the other one on clearance :)
oops, I got distracted...



Don't see a new machine anytime soon. 
Maybe I will unplug it and plug it again one more time, just to make sure. 

unmotivated

I have quilt scraps waiting to be turned into a colorful quilt.

I have (literally!) 30 crochet UFOs.

My house is cluttered with yarn and laundry. (its clean and folded, just not put away, because i have fall and summer stuff out)

And I don't want to deal with any of it.

Its hot and still humid. Too bad fall can't arrive when the calendar says September.

The damp, humid, rainy weather is so hard on me.
Living with chronic pain stinks!  


I got a cortisone shot in my neck today. The anesthesiologist could not get the needle where he (and I) wanted it. I have a plate in my neck and it was in the way.  So he went in a vertabrae lower.  I must say it is the weirdest feeling when that needle moves across those bones...I kind of wonder if I am really hearing it or I its just the scraping sensation I feel and think I am imagining it...Either way its strange!  

Let's just hope it helps. Because the pain is exhausting.  It takes so much energy to get through the day. 
Wish they could just fill me with cortisone! LOL.  Serioulsy, I have done this. All the steroiods have messed with my blood sugar. Now I have to go back in a few months to make sure that is in check. 

I just read a blog. The writer was talking about skin care and wrinkles.
It just bugged me. 
I know, I have no right to judge.
But I wish that was all I had to complain about. 
I'm tired
stressed
and cranky.

I would give anything to crawl into bed at night and be able to fall asleep and not wake until morning.
To snuggle up with my husband and not be in tears because it hurts to be touched. 
To turn back the clock
To not have been in a car accident.
To not have had cancer.
To have tendons that have not  disintegrated.
To be normal

Rant over. Tomorrow will be a better day.  I can only hope ;) 

left shoulder

will be having surgery on my left shoulder in November.

at least I will have symetrical scars!

summertime

Ah summer.

I am so unmotivated to crochet.
A cozy prayer shawl or afghan on my lap, 
not my idea of fun when its hot and humid.
I have so many projests started, 
just can't seem to focus to finish anything. 

I should be sewing.
But my sewing room is upstairs.
Someday I will save up for a little window a/c.
Old farm house second floors in the summer tend to be disgusting a little a little warm too.

So I am spening my craft time poking around blogs.
and on pinterest...
pinning so many patterns I will never attempt
 and recipes I will never make
and clothes I will never wear ;) 

Here is a link to my work that I have pinned. 

Independence Day!

Beautiful (not humid) weather here the past few days. I hate humid, so this has been perfect summer weather for me.

I ditched my sling. My surgeon told me I still have to wear in in public - will keep people from bumping into me or me forgetting and grabbing something or try to open a heavy door. Also not allowed to shake hands with people, LOL in case some one at church has a death grip. ;)

Now I can sew and crochet again, as long as its not too dang hot. I started a colorful prayers shawl !

recovery

I had my rotator cuff repair surgery six weeks ago.

He also woven a bunch of nylon cording through what was left of the cartilage in the shoulder. Hoping it will scar over and the scar tissue will hold my shoulder together. apparently what little cartilage I have left was like tissue paper. 

I did not think about it being so hot and having to wear a nylon and foam immobilizing sling for 8 weeks.  I see the surgeon Tuesday, Hoping I can ditch this thing! Its sweaty and gross. 

Worst part is it is my right arm. And I am very right-handed

I have learned a few things along the way.

• no matter how gross the shower gets - my husband and daughter will not clean it.
• flossing your teeth is not possible with one hand, the little flosser pick things from the dollar store are awesome
• you can't put your hair in a ponytail one handed,
• cabin fever sets in quickly when you live 12 miles from town and are not allowed to drive.
• when my husband grocery shops after a 12 hour shift he buys lots of Oreos, hot dogs, and frozen pizzas
• when I am typing left handed I have to search for the keys, typing for years without thinking about it all goes out the window when you take away a hand.
• I don't care about mis typing something now. If I make a mistake its a pain to go back and fix it. If you're reading you can probably figure it out.
• Its hard to get all the shampoo and conditioner out of your hair in the shower
• having your husband put your deodorant on tickles
• I am really rethinking having my left shoulder done. I know in the long run it will be worth it, but I dread going through this again.
• my friends suck. I did not get one phone call.   No visitors except my kids. ( and they were here the day after surgery so I slept most of the time. lol)   I got one card from a retired couple from my church. 
• When I was diagnosed with cancer it was the same thing. Depressing. I am the person who sends care packages and birthday gifts. I make afghans and quilts  for friends when they are recovering, struggling or welcoming a new baby. I've made dozens of prayer shawls and lap afghans for church members.  I send gas cards to relatives going through cancer treatments.   I suppose I am being petty, but it hurts :(
• but I am still going to be the person who sends a card, mail a package full of little things to brighten someone's day, or I will keep crocheting and sewing. Because I know how a simple gesture can brighten someone's day. 

Lemon Cream Pie Cheesecake Dip: a quick & easy dessert recipe for spring!  serve with graham crackers or nilla wafers

INGREDIENTS

• 1 8-ounce brick cream cheese, softened
• ¼ Cup powdered sugar
• 1 10-ounce jar lemon curd
• 1 8-ounce container Extra Creamy Cool Whip

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer or in a medium bowl using an electric hand beater, beat the cream cheese and powdered sugar on medium speed for 1-2 minutes, or until combined and creamy. Add the lemon curd and mix on medium speed until just combined.
2. Fold in the Extra Creamy Cool Whip and transfer dip to your serving bowl. Cover and chill for at least 30 minutes before serving.

Mixed stitch

I made my first mixed stitch blanket. 
Have wanted to make one for so long! 

I started following Cherry Heart's Crochet along, the Spice of Life 

I used worsted weight, because that's what I had on hand,  some brights Jill had left over. 
Added lavender, black and white.

Then I got bored with the pattern. 
Looked on pinterest for some other stitches.
I even started a Mixed Stitch board

I added a few more rows. And finally finished.  

It needs a wash or two and some fabric softener to make it cozy.

I like how it turned out. 

scheduled

I met with the orthopedic surgeon yesterday.
I was counting on not liking him and using that as an excuse to have it closer to home.
Too bad, I really liked him. LOL
And, honestly, I want a surgeon who specializes. 
He poked my shoulder,tested my strength , and range of motion. 
Went through my MRI, slice by slice, with me.
Answered all my questions.
 (and wasn't an ass about it like so many surgeons I have met the last few years.)
I told him I wanted to wait til after my 6 month check up, the first week in May.

He told me I have excellent range of motion now.
And it would take me up to a year to be back where I am now, after surgery. 
But with no pain.  ( If only he could get rid of neck pain too!) 


He told me it would be a long painful road, but in a year it will be worth it.
I hope so! Someday I will be a grandma and I want to be able to pick up those babies without wincing. 

well

I was thinking....
I spent all my Christmas money on yarn.
Most years I spend my Christmas money on yarn.
I don't just have a stash. 
I have totes literally (!) piled to the ceiling.
Cotton. Super washable acrylic. Wool. Alpaca softness that is gorgeous.
Aran, worsted, and tons of DK.

Trust me,
I have plans for all this yarn.

But I am facing rotator cuff surgery, maybe both sides.
And what if my cancer comes back?
As Pearl says in Finding Nemo: That's a pretty big but(t) 

When am I going to find time to crochet up all this yarn?

*heavy sigh*
 I totally did not think that through. 

Sporatic

So, again, long time no post.

I found out in January I have a complete tear of my right rotator cuff.
I knew I did, have just been getting by with cortisone shots a couple times a year.
My doctor said enough and ordered an MRI.
I have two distinct tears, bone spurs, and my tendons are beginning to fray.
I knew it was bad. If I stand with my arm hanging down, it feels like someone is pulling it.

A month later, after another chat with him, he ordered one for the left too.
oh man, he was so cute that day, telling me how he met his wife and fell head over heels. He had the biggest grin on his face. I hope she knows how smitten he is with her after 20 years :) 
Of course, tear on that side too. 
I give up.

I see an orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday.